Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Randomize