Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize