Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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