While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
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I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
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I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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