:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
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he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
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I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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