Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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