She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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