Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize