I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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