Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?

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(843): Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm? http://tfl.nu/fqw6

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(952): View more from Minnesota

i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...

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(952): i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight... http://tfl.nu/bbui

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(914): View more from New York

After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...

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(914): After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories... http://tfl.nu/40wb

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(616): View more from Michigan

So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...

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(616): So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes... http://tfl.nu/3so6

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.

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(724): btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die. http://tfl.nu/rrxi

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(419): View more from Ohio

I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"

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(419): I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion" http://tfl.nu/b5an

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.

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(413): All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet. http://tfl.nu/zopf

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer

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(+44): We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer http://tfl.nu/3muy

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.

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(774): Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18. http://tfl.nu/z1g3

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(908): View more from New Jersey

P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.

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(908): P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed. http://tfl.nu/fp9c

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly

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(401): Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly http://tfl.nu/cjgf

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?

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(402): Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge? http://tfl.nu/w4hy

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(810): View more from Michigan

He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.

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(810): He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me. http://tfl.nu/paz8

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(919): View more from North Carolina

If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.

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(919): If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier. http://tfl.nu/u3me

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(801): View more from Utah

He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...

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(801): He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"... http://tfl.nu/bw0v

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