its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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