Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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