I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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