And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize