chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
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I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Text me some of your sweat
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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