We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
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He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
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Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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