she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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