the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
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Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
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With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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