Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize