i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize