I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
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Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
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It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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