I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize