How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
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you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
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Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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