Do you still have your period?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize