i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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