Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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