no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
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i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
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We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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