Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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