i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
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She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
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Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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