Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(870): View more from Arkansas

This bar receipt from last night makes no sense

(573): View more from Missouri

You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total

(870): View more from Arkansas

I wish that would've worked

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(870): This bar receipt from last night makes no sense (573): You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total (870): I wish that would've worked http://tfl.nu/u8a6

Replies (24) Good night (3190) Bad night (574)
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants http://tfl.nu/4e8k

Replies (61) Good night (743) Bad night (8305) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(403): I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night. http://tfl.nu/12y8

Replies (9) Good night (5875) Bad night (1043) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(662): View more from Mississippi

Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(662): Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened? http://tfl.nu/nd5l

Replies (6) Good night (2994) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(540): View more from Virginia

I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(540): I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening http://tfl.nu/76la

Replies (3) Good night (657) Bad night (1442) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(523): View more from

Hey did where's my bong?

(1-523): View more from

In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right

(523): View more from

Should I bother to ask?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(523): Hey did where's my bong? (1-523): In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right (523): Should I bother to ask? http://tfl.nu/hj27

Replies (8) Good night (2893) Bad night (833)
Favorite
(760): View more from California

And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(760): And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist http://tfl.nu/o8qq

Replies (7) Good night (2355) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(269): View more from Michigan

A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(269): A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash? http://tfl.nu/uuv0

Replies (8) Good night (2352) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(505): View more from New Mexico

You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(505): You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex" http://tfl.nu/srnr

Replies (4) Good night (1417) Bad night (411)
Favorite
(204): View more from Manitoba

Are you alive?

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(204): Are you alive? (1-204): I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all. http://tfl.nu/y639

Replies (4) Good night (1400) Bad night (597)
Favorite
(931): View more from Tennessee

THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(931): THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING http://tfl.nu/7m50

Replies (27) Good night (3889) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(304): View more from West Virginia

I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(304): I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable. http://tfl.nu/maf5

Replies (22) Good night (4214) Bad night (400) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(207): View more from Maine

I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(207): I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo http://tfl.nu/r3az

Replies (7) Good night (1397) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again. http://tfl.nu/bmoz

Replies (7) Good night (1222) Bad night (294)
Favorite
(423): View more from Tennessee

Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(423): Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina? http://tfl.nu/kprk

Replies (5) Good night (868) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: