i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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