you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize