How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
drinking out of a sandbucket again
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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