biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
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smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
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My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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