I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize