Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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