the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Everything about him screamed your future.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
you never un-have a 4some
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
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