Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
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I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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