Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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