I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
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WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
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Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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