you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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