Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
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I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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