We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
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ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
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I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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