..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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