I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize