did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize