So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize