shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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