Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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