apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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